Sincerely, Malice

It looks as if Sloth and I are the only ones who survived our Friday night. After shiraz and stout arrived, Gluttony had the upper hand, and called up his friends Tostito and creamy spinach. I'm glad I didn't see Pride, because if he was there I really would have kicked his ass. But the night had already seen enough injustice. I've come to the conclusion that there's too much Envy in the world, all kinds of Envy, and most of the time Greed is the instigator. Fuck Greed, all he ever does is ask for more shit, and when he doesn't get it he demands it. Some assholes are never satisfied. Sort of like Lust, but that's understandable. I make an exception for Lust from time to time. Okay, so all the time. (I have a huuge crush on Lust.) Am I forgetting someone? Oh yes, Anger. He stuck around and badgered Sloth about unfinished business. Together, though, they did come up with some good schemes. But Pride would never admit that. When we tell him he should "be more like Anger" he gets so snotty. That probably makes me biased because despite all the rage Anger is one of my favorites. I mean, there's plenty of stuff to be angry about. All these lowlifes, for example.