Sunday, October 19, 2008

Reasons to Love Portland

I just got back from a great party in Portland, one of my favorite cities in the U.S.

  • A light rail system connects Portland to the suburbs, something "environmental" Seattle barely has.
  • We spent the night at a friend's house and found a copy of Portland's "Gay and Lesbian Yellow Pages" on the doorstep when we woke up.
  • Rent is cheaper in Portland, at least on M.L.K.
  • Portland is bicycle friendly, with bike paths an almost every big road.
  • There is a sense of community in Portland.
  • Portlanders are happy and talk to neighbors.
  • Portlanders are relaxed about fixing up their yards to look like golf courses, and instead find many other interesting uses for yards, like artwork and gardening.
  • Whole time I was there I did not see one cop. As soon as I got back to Tacoma I saw five and one squad SUV in a matter of ten minutes.
  • Parties in Portland attract some of the best musicians.
  • According to Grist, Portland is the second-most green city in the world behind Reykjavik, Iceland.
  • Portland has some of the largest city parks in the U.S.
  • DIY crafting is a big thing in Portland.
  • Portland is home to many interesting people, like Linus Torvalds (founder of Linux).

By contrast,

  • I recently discovered Tacoma was listed on CNN as the top most stressful city in the United States.


Daniel said...

A point-by-point reply on behalf of Tacoma:

*Tacoma has an awesome light rail service, transporting citizens and visitors from the Theater District to the Tacoma Dome and back... for free!

*I've heard plenty of Tacomans describe their city as "gay" (although maybe they meant something different).

*Rent is cheaper in south Tacoma than just about anywhere.

*Half of Tacoma is very, very bike-able, the other half is uphill.

*Car "sharing" happens every night in Tacoma between 2 and 5 a.m. Rich people call it car theft.

*There is a sense of community college in Tacoma.


*Tacomans use their yards to grow weeds, many of which are perfectly edible.

*Pass. Fuck the TPD!

*Donald Glaude is from Tacoma. So was Seaweed. And hey, imagine it's 1940 and Bing Crosby stops by your party. How pumped are you?!

*Portland isn't growing just because of some silly "urban planning" model. Portland isn't growing because Tacoma's taking over!

*Talking bud? Tacoma's green as fuck.

*Point Defiance Park, 2nd largest municipal park in America.

*DIY meth is huge in Tacoma.

*Tacoma is home to some interesting people: David Brame, Ted Bundy, the D.C. area snipers. Plus, Gary Larson > Linus Torvalds

By contrast, people in Portland abandon helpless cats (

Anonymous said...

Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma! Ta-Co-Ma!

Liam Rosen said...

They're even putting light rail all the way out to my house in the suburbs. Go Portland!

Personally I have no desire to ever return to Portland. It gets old after a while, it's the same old hipster shit over and over again. Go Tacoma!

Acumensch said...

ohhh shit....

i think you got me there. But

In 1993 Tacoma was the first city to setup CCTV camera surveillance systems in the US, letting police spy on people from the substations.

Po-lice-State! Po-lice-State! Po-lice-State! N-S-A! N-S-A! N-S-A!

By contrast,

According to, Portland was the first city to become a "platinum level" bicycle-friendly city.

Acumensch said...

Why is it that when hippies wear their favorite beads it's called pejoratively "hipsterism", but when careerists wear their favorite suits it's not hipsterism?

The word is totally ironic to me, because I don't think the same people would talk about immigrants with their own cultural idiosyncrasies in the same way. It's essentially white-on-white backlash.

Anonymous said...

wtf I got linked to some fag blog, I hope you guys get raped and beaten at the next poz party